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I'm beginning to wonder if I'm bi-polar or something...I thought I was starting to do something good, but now I hate it again...it's like I know what I have to do, it's almost in my grasp but it keeps on slipping away.  It's like everytime I take a step forward artistically I take 2 back.  I've been on DA for 7yrs now and there are people who have only been here 1 that have twice as many watchers as I do.  Maybe it's time for me to just admit my art is ugly or something and move on.

As you might have guess I'm feeling really depressed today.
I got 3 or 4 new sketches to put up, but for whatever reason DA is eating them.  I'll try again later.
Hoped to be able to do something when I got home, but fell into the Sombra hole.  Now I'm too tired to do anything.  Think I'm going to play some Yo-Kai watch 2 while watching some TV and hope that tomorrow is a better day.
I've wanted to a webcomic of something so badly for so long, but it just seems like there's this invisible barrier in front of me.  Actually, the barrier is always around me, but I feel it more acutely whenever I try something creative.  I can see whole pages fully laid out in my mind, I just don't know how to get there.  I was trained as a classic artist (painting, drawing, etc), never as a digital artist.  When I was in college, digital art was considered a computer class NOT a art one.  Basically everything I've done so far has been self-taught.  I think I'd do better if someone was peaking over my shoulder and telling what to do/not to do...of course I don't have anyone like that in my life, since I don't have a life outside of working and coming home and disappointing myself playing Overwatch.

I guess this is all coming to a head because I turn 42 next year, and I wonder what I did with my life, and what I can do with what I have left... whenever I do something that isn't art if feels like I'm wasting time, but doing art makes me sad sometimes.  I know I've made some progress, but is it really progress and is it fast enough?  I feel like I'm on a timer.  Add to this I tried to join a dating site, and I realized any girl I'd be interested in is probably not going to be interested in someone my age.  I quit after 8 hours because I realized that you have to pay to read messages...what a scam.
I just thought I'd write to remind everyone I don't do collaborations, art-trades or commissions.  I had a bad morning deflecting interest from a guy who's pretty well known for being a artist-harasser about this.  To be blunt about it, I don't have time/drive to work on my own stuff, so I don't have time for yours.  I'm happy/honored that you hold my ability in such high esteem, it's just that I don't have it in me.
In case this project ever gets past the "dirty pictures" phase, I started thinking of a title.  I'm thinking of going with "Galatea Dreaming".  I did a Google search and it really didn't turn anything up by that name.  Am I good or is there somewhere else I should try?
Had me a 5 day vacation, and on the first day I decided to pick up Overwatch.  I had planned on doing something creative those 5 days, but now I've only got 1 left, and haven't done anything.  Well, one of those days I was completely sick or something so there's that.

I've been maining Zenyatta.  It's a dirty job, but someone has to do it.
So, I posted up a new work, which I think is one of my best (as far as the number of techniques I used) hoping it would get at least 1000 views.  It's sitting at like, 71.  I dunno, I just feel like if nobody is looking at it, then I must not be doing something right.  Maybe I should censor it and re-upload it as a separate image and see if that does better?

I just don't know if I should be more depressed, or just get to posting things on my empty Tumblr blog.
So, I haven't posted anything in awhile, but I'm still doing art.  The problem I've been having is most of the stuff is only sketches or half-colored works.  Been having a hard time completing things.  Then I have a list of things I've been putting off:

Watching all the crap that I've built up on my DVR
Playing Marvel Heroes 2016
Finishing Tales of Symphonia/Graces F/Fallout 4/Dragon Quest Heroes
Beat Carnage Storyline/Baal in Disgaea 5
Playing back through "The Wolf Amongst Us" and not being a total dumbass this time
Watch through my backlog of anime (Lupin 3rd part 4/Durarara/GARO/Assassination Classroom/Bubuki Buranki

Oh and I got a 3DS XL today, along with Yo-Kai Watch and Xenoblade Chronicles 3d.

Somewhere I gotta find some time for art.
I did this awhile back, meant to be my thanks for 10,000 views pic.  When I asked for some tips on the forums, I got some negative feedback that really killed the project for me.  I figured I'd finally try to salvage the project.

The Original:
Bridge 2 by Four-Skulls
The updated of that one:
Bridge 4 by Four-Skulls
The new version:
Bridge 3a by Four-Skulls
Do you think the old version is more dynamic than the new one?  Mind you I know the hands are bad, and the arms could use some work; I'm more worried about the overall composition of the piece that would cause me to have to tear it all down and start over.
So, I'm on a weeks staycation, and thought about starting on that webcomic...but can't get the enthusiasm up to do it.   Everytime I start to draw it comes out all wrong.  I can see what it looks like in my head, like the completed page, but it just turns to crap on the screen.  Gets me even more down to think I turned 40 this year; I don't know how much longer I'll be around before my body goes to crap on me.  As depressing as not being able to do what I want is, the idea that if I croak all these stories and charcters in my head will go with me is even worse.
No I don't have one...I'm just getting sick of seeing certain top artists putting up censored work on DA just so they can advertise their Patreon account.  I guess if I was one of those artists interested in getting money for my art I wouldn't mind, but since I'm not it really irks me.
Went and posted something too risque for DA!

Figured it might be but I thought I'd see where the line was exactly.
There used to be a "friends" list that had my groups and artists I watch on it.  However I can't seem to find it no matter where I look.  Anyone know where it is now?
Maybe someday I will make it to 10,000 surely?
Anyone know how DA decides on what pictures to put in the "more like this" frame?  I noticed when I first uploaded some of my pictures, the pictures there are closer in quality to what I uploaded, and then the quality begins to degrade when I start submitting the picture to groups.   I dunno, just seems weird.
Just got artist block/lack of inspiration.  Hopefully I can get out a "Thanks for 5000 hits" picture out.  Maybe by the time I make it to 10,000?
Finally got 50 Llamas and progressed to Albino Llama!

Time for me to give out some Llama!
Finally after 3 years I have 100 watchers!
Hope everyone is having a happy new years!