So depressed

So, I'm on a weeks staycation, and thought about starting on that webcomic...but can't get the enthusiasm up to do it.   Everytime I start to draw it comes out all wrong.  I can see what it looks like in my head, like the completed page, but it just turns to crap on the screen.  Gets me even more down to think I turned 40 this year; I don't know how much longer I'll be around before my body goes to crap on me.  As depressing as not being able to do what I want is, the idea that if I croak all these stories and charcters in my head will go with me is even worse.